“The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.”

“Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.”

“Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.”

“Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.”

“Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.”